BAR JOKES

Beer & S*x

Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink : Beer

Personality : Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.

Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella

Personality : Flaky, annoying, ditzy, and a pain in the ass

Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.

Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 liter cask)

Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink : Barcardi Breezer - Hooch

Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated,
actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink : Shots

Personality : Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get
drunk...and naked.

Approach : Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait. 

Then there is the male drink analysis.... The deal with guys is, as
always, very simple and clear cut.

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Whisky : He doesn't give two s**ts about anything and will hit
anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Tequila : p*ss off, all you assholes, I'm gonna go screw something
with a pulse.

Barcardi Breezer-Hooch : He's gay